I should be studying, but, kungfucarrie posted such a gorgeous picture of ASH at ash_daily that now all I can do is stare and sigh (see icon).

I have work to do.

It'll have to wait. lol.

Just coming up for a quick breath of air before I dive back into my studies. So far, I'm pacing myself and it's going well. From now till Christmas: 2 assignments, 1 major paper and 3 exams. omg. Right now I'm just totally pissed off at one of my profs. He wants an analysis of one viewpoint over the others in literary criticism . . . in 250 words. Which has to include 5 paragraphs, each of which has to include a topic sentence, and evidence to support the topic, and the evidence has to have specific references to works of literature. 50 words per paragraph. No fucking way. I'm handing mine is as is (don't ask how many words it is, I'm trying to forget). It's not worth a lot percentage-wise, so if I lose marks for length, so be it. Point is, I'M happy with it.

The great thing is, I've been turned on to so many wonderful authors through one of my courses. Like Raccoona Sheldon. Loved her "The Screwfly Solution", and intend to read more of hers.

For a badly-needed break, I'm taking my daughter and 2 of her friends to see New Moon. I said break - not a deep movie/literary experience. I need pure fantasy right now. I saw 2012 with my partner, but really, end-of-the-world scenarios are not really "fluff". I need fluff.

I've also been escaping into my world of music when I need a break. I discovered I like Adam Lambert's "Miracles", and Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance", but I find the Stereo's "Throw Your Hands Up" um, kinda boring and repetitive. I also like Hedley's "Ka-Ching". Oh, and Pink's Funhouse is great. It's just great to discover new music that I like. And, there's old faves too. ASH, of course. I was listening to an ABBA song the other day - Waterloo - and it suddenly hit me that this song is very D/s. Why did I never notice this before? **shakes head in amusement**.

Back to work.

For five days now I've been trying to ignore the pain and pretend everything's ok, but today it just got too much for me. I've had abdominal pain since Sunday. If I don't eat, the pain gets worse, if I do eat, I get nauseous. Painkillers don't help. I've had this pain before, and they can't seem to find what causes it. Eventually, it just disappears, but I never know how long it'll hang around. Spent a good part of today at the ER, but, same answer. It's not life-threatening - that's all they can tell me at the moment. Wonderful. (Sorry, as you can see, I'm not in the best of moods and that tends to bring out the heavy sarcasm). I have an assignment due in about 4 hours. I'm tempted to just blow it off, which I NEVER do. I would love nothing better than to just go and lie down and try to tune out the pain, but, the pain isn't going to go away, so I might as well spend the time working on the assignment. It's only worth 5% of my mark, so I'm not really sweating over it, but, it's poetry, and while I really love Robert Frost, I'm not loving the assignment. See, I like poetry - I just don't like analyzing it. *sigh* And, I have guests coming this weekend. Lovely.

Today is a day when I HAVE to try and find good things in my life, so, here they are:

1. My cat is much improved. She's eating and almost back to normal. I know there's no cure, but, I'll take what I can get because I love her so much.

2. I downloaded a bunch of music last night (because the pain was keeping me awake), and I found a copy of McHale's version of Dancing With Myself from last night's Glee, which made me very happy.

3. I have good friends.

That's pretty much it today. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.

I watched Bones tonight, and, I'm still sitting here thinking "awwwww....". Although I'm guessing we won't see the other half of this storyline until the May sweeps. Still, I loved this episode. Because I am such a sap **smiles sappily**. And then Glee came on, which I haven't seen in a while, and there was this incredible rendition of Billy Idol's "Dancing With Myself". Now, normally, I'm not a big fan of other people's versions of Billy's songs, but this was just freaking amazing. Good enough, in fact, to make me seriously consider buying the Season 1 CD (if this song is on it). I know there's been some backlash against an able-bodied person playing the role of disabled Artie, but omg, if this is an example of what Kevin McHale is capable of, it's no wonder he won the role. So, it was a great night of TV for me tonight! And - Booth in love . . . sigh.

Have I mentioned how much I love Halloween? Favourite holiday of the year . . . I know, it's not officially a holiday, but it should be. IMHO. This year, there were 5 pumpkins. First - my personal favourite - is Spock (see icon). Second, was the Bat signal (for my daughter, who's going to a party dressed at Batgirl. Third, was Nemo. Fourth, was a flaming skull. And fifth, was a ...well, it's kind of hard to describe, but it's a pond (think open clam shell), filled with a cascading fountain, and peopled not with fish, but with spiders (complete with changing coloured lights). Then, of course, there are the skeletons, vampires, skulls, webs, etc., etc. Much, much love!!!

Today has been a MUCH better day than yesterday. Yesterday was full of tears as we all absorbed the knowledge that some day soon, we're going to lose one of our kitties. Not today. Not tomorrow. But she has a tumour, and we can delay, but not avoid, the inevitable. The good news is, yesterday and today she has been eating! Yay! She even went and ate her sister's food, which is a first in a very long time.

I'm still carrying around the grief, but I'm going to deal with it one day at a time, and today was a good for her, so, I'm going to be happy for her today.

Even finding out I have sprained my left wrist (I'm a leftie too) didn't ruin my day. My school work's under control, I got new meds to help with my asthma, and I'm (slowly) improving my icon skills, so I can now spend some time creating the kind of icons I've wanted (hopefully).

Speaking of which, I was looking for some new ASH pics to use for said icons, and up pops one where he's wearing black leather studded underwear, and nothing but. Damn near fell off my chair (and no, that's not how I sprained my wrist. lol). This is from a tv ep. I have not seen. Why have I not seen this ep? And then, I started to feel like a voyeur, so I moved on in my search. Followed by a lecture that this was not voyeurism . . . this was a valid still from a tv show. It kinda' worked. I'm just really touchy about private vs. public lives when it comes to celebrities. This is public though, right?

Okay, back to school work. And, I need to write again. It's been awhile, and I miss it. I have a plot bunny that's been running through my head that involves Uther, and a lake, and a female - I'm just not sure who I want that female to be. School work first. Uther afterwords.

One of my cats is not eating. I don't mean she's picky, I mean she's not eating anything, and is now far too skinny. I've tried everything I can think of, and have talked to the vet several times. I take her back again tomorrow, but, if she won't eat anything at all . . . I'm terrified of what the vet is going to say tomorrow. Because, if she won't eat, and we can't figure out why. **sob** I can't let her starve to death - that would be cruel and inhumane. This night is going to be long, and yet not long enough. And, to make matters worse, if she's not going to get better, I have to tell my kids, and my daughter is still reeling from having her boyfriend break up with her (out of the blue). This, she does not need. I read that our thoughts can affect the world around us - I wish my thoughts could cure my kitty - I wish it were that simple. But how can you cure anything when there's diagnosis? I'd do anything for her, if I just knew what. I remember, 3 years ago, when I was in the middle of my chemo, sitting up all night with her sister, who was deathly ill. I just refused to let her go. I had this feeling that if I didn't stay with her, she'd slip away in the night. She made it through the night, and slowly but surely, got better. I'm hoping for another miracle now for her sister.

Was surfing the internet and came across this: Anthony Head is auctioning off the glasses he wore as Rupert Giles to aid a charity. If you're interested, I've posted the link:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/somerset/content/articles/2004/10/08/anthony_head_giles_auction_feature.shtml

This is a flyby post, and I didn't have time to look up how to correctly code a link, so, if this turns out wrong, you can just copy and paste the address I've given.

God, wouldn't I love to own these. **sigh**

Oh, and they come with a letter from Tony certifying their authenticity.

It's been a while since I did a book post, so, here it is. I declare up front that I am a Jane Austen fan, and that Pride and Prejudice is a book a reread every year. I am also a fan of supernatural fiction. Having said that, I was slightly hesitant about this book. The opening line made me laugh though, so I decided to give it a go. End result? It works . . . sometimes. The book sticks as close to the original as possible, using the original text much of the time. The zombie aspect does add some humour to the original, however, I found at times that this humour was forced. One thing about fiction, no matter it's genre, is that it has to make sense. In other words, actions flow from other actions. This didn't always happen in this book. Mr. Collins' fate is a perfect example - it just didn't make sense. Nor did the idea of Lady Catherine de Bourgh being an expert at martial arts (at her age). For anyone who has hated Mr. Wickham, this book does provide some much-appreciated satisfaction. The problem with the book is that it doesn't add enough to make it a worthwhile read - reading the original is a much better use of one's time. I have the second book in this series - Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters - we'll see if that one fares any better.

Some days, I'm so pathetic. Yesterday, my knee was really hurting, so I was trying to keep the weight off it as much as possible, using my good leg, and my left arm to help out when possible. Today? My knee still hurts and now my left wrist is in agony. This is a bad thing for a leftie. But, I can visualize myself hobbling around trying NOT to use my right leg and my left arm too much, and it makes me laugh. I figure so long as I can laugh at myself, all is not lost.

On a different note - my son got a beautiful black kitten, which he has named Demon. When his grandmother asked why he would name a "good kitty" after a bad thing, without missing a beat, he replied "Angel was a demon, and he was good." *sigh* I was proud - his grandmother was confused, but I was grinning like a fool. Plus, the kitten is soooo cute.

I am full of love for the Big Bang Theory, and it just keeps growing. Last night, they had Wil Wheaton on the show (Wesley Crusher from ST: TNG). Admittedly, I was never overly fond of his character but still, it was Star Trek related, and so definitely of the good! :D I still laugh at Sheldon's despair at having missed BOTH ComiCon AND the new Star Trek movie over the summer! I get to let my inner nerd out to play with this show, thus the love. And I just realized I don't have a Star Trek userpic - that will have to be remedied asap.

My daughter's boyfriend of 3 years broke up with her, and now I'm trying to find ways to help her to live through this. She is devastated - had no idea it was coming. The trouble is, they met her 1st week at university, and so now everywhere she turns she's hit in the face with a memory. Needless to say, she's coming home a lot. Which is good, I think - she needs to be around people who love her, and whom she knows will always love her. *Sigh*. Hurt my kids, hurt me. Just a fact of life.

My sick cat doesn't seem to be getting any better. Now I'm feeding her tuna - because she's eating it, and keeping it down, which is more than I can say for any of the expensive prescription foods I got from the vet. But I'm very worried. I just wish they could find what's wrong with her, so we can treat her before it's too late. *sigh* God, I love my animals.

Someone posted a pic of ASH as Uther (holding a sword) that just made me say "Holy shit!". This man is hot. *sigh* (the good kind).

To top off my day, I have a killer migraine. And who the fuck put some flashing ad on LJ that is driving me crazy as I type this? Tried to close it, and just pops up again. **screams silently**.

Okay, I'm going to try and numb my brain watching tv and dvds for the rest of the night. Was thinking of putting a Buffy dvd on, but I really need something new so I can immerse myself in it. So, now I'm thinking Dr. Who (S3), Torchwood, or . . . someone gave me S1 of True Blood (no idea if it's any good). I saw it won a couple of Scream awards from Spike TV (although they also presented Megan Fox with a Best Actress award, so there goes their credibility). Of course, this is all assuming I can stand to watch anything, thanks to the migraine. *sigh*

Too many sighs today. Tomorrow will be a better day. God, now I sound like Scarlet O'Hara. Arrrgh!

Clearly, it's my week to be annoyed by my fellow human beings. What's annoying me now? When people preface a comment with the phrase "not that I'm a women's libber or anything . . .". I seem to hear this comment more and more. I don't understand a person's need to use it - is being in favour of gender equality a bad thing now? Politically incorrect? It scares me when I hear young women tell me that they don't see any need for the government to spend money on a Women's Equality division - that the offices can all be closed down now.

I'm probably hyper-sensitive to this right now, as I've just had to re-read Arthur C. Clarke's "Childhood's End" for a course. I like a lot of his works, but - how come he could envision a futuristic human race in which the colour of a person's skin is no longer a barrier, but couldn't envision one in which there was gender equality? Honestly, there's a point in the book where a group of people go to live on an island in order not to stagnate creatively and intellectually. And what do the women on the island do? They "re-discover" the wonder of knitting!!! There isn't one female character in the entire book that has a position of authority, or, as far as I can tell, even a job! So yeah, I'm a little overly sensitive right now.

Plus, I just bought one of the cats this really expensive food, and today I get a call from the vet saying that she needs to be eating a prescription cat food. **Sigh** Still, if it's what she needs . . . I still say, if there's reincarnation, I want to come back and live the life my cat's have had. Totally spoiled. Like last night, one of them is staring at me with this totally pissed off expression while she's sitting on my lap! Only a cat would do this, and think nothing of it. That's a cat for you - if they're pissed off about something, they want to make damn sure you know. lol. Still, they keep me sane, not always an easy task.

I was out today, and a woman - a total stranger - says to me as I'm writing something "Oh, look at you! You're so smart to have figured out how to write like a normal person!"

This was insulting on so many levels that I didn't know where to start. First off, I'm left-handed, not abnormal. I am a normal person. Second, left-handed people only write "upside-down" when they've been forced to write with their paper slanted to the left (the way right-handed people write). In an enlightened society, left-handed children are taught to slant their paper to the right, and they write like their right-handed classmates. But, to say something like this to a person, in public, that you've never met before? Thankfully, one of us has good manners, and I managed (with effort) to refrain from telling her which of the two of us I thought was abnormal.

This brought back bad childhood memories. In grade 6, I broke the middle finger of my left hand catching a pop fly in a baseball game. It was splinted and wrapped, and I couldn't use my hand to write. My teacher's reaction? "Well, you'll just have to write with your right hand. 'Bout time you learned to write properly anyway." Even at that age, when I was intensely shy, I was royally pissed off. Once my mother was through with him, he made no more mention of writing right-handed, and I'd bet my last dollar he never made a biased comment like that again.

I mean, really, are you going to call Presidents Obama and Clinton abnormal?? (Okay, I'll give you George Bush - he's abornmal by any defitinion). How about Albert Einstein, Michelangelo, Robert Redford, Larry Bird, Jimi Hendrix, and, the definitive, uncontestable proof: Tony Head. Rest my case.

One of my cats has been having trouble eating her canned food, and she's been losing weight. So I took her to the vet yesterday (in her new carrier, which, surprisingly, she took to really well). So, $250 later, I'm still no further ahead. They took blood and urine samples, but I got the feeling they don't expect to find anything. So, why is she losing weight? She's lost 20% of her weight in less than a year (I should be so lucky). So, now I have to try and figure out if she's allergic to something in her food. How do I do this? By continually changing her food and seeing what she eats and what she doesn't. Which means buying bags of food that she'll probably only eat from once. And the SPCA and Animal Aid won't take opened bags of food. But, I'll do it, 'cause, I love her so much. Plus, she's going deaf. It's kind of funny, because she does these mega meows now; if we have visitors it startles the hell out of them. But she can't hear herself, so she doesn't realize how loud she's gotten.

On the plus side, I finished reading one of the books for my course - 2 weeks ahead of schedule. What annoys me though is the prof. wouldn't post the assignment for the book ahead of time. I like to have that info. BEFORE I read the book, so my mind can be chugging away on it while I read. Oh well; c'est la vie.

You know how, when you're getting a needle, or some medical procedure, the dr/nurse/tech says "This won't hurt a bit" and then it hurts like hell? Well, yesterday I had a lumbar puncture done, and they actually said "This is going to hurt", so I knew immediately it was going to hurt like a son-of-a-bitch. Yup. I was right. And then, right in the middle, they say "try to relax". Yes, no problem, because of course my idea of relaxation is some heavy S&M. Or not. And I always lie still for hours after the procedure yet, as usual, I got a headache. Then last night my lower back hurt so bad I was up all night. And then, the cats, being cats, knew that I wasn't feeling good, so they both came around and wanted to sleep with me. Which normally would be fine, but last night, because of the pain, I had to keep shifting position every 5 or 10 minutes. Which is difficult to do with 2 grown cats on or beside you. So now I'm going to drag myself down to pick up my mail, which hopefully will include the material for my courses which started yesterday. Then I can come back and ignore my courses in favour of a good movie.

Why is it that when I do a Google search for images of Uther, I can't find any in which he is smiling? Or at least happy-looking. The best I can find is one where he has a tiny smile - more just a slight lift of his lips on one side, with an amused look in his eyes. That's it. I get that Uther's a stern king, but I KNOW there were scenes in which he was smiling. **Sigh** Don't get me wrong - the Uther glare is almost as good as the Giles glare, but some days you just want a smile. This is one of them.

It's such a relief to finally have my laptop back. My daughter's was in the shop and she was doing an online university course, so of course I loaned her mine. In some ways it was actually nice to be away from everything computer for awhile. Of course, catching up on my emails was not the most fun way to spend an evening! Still, I did a lot of reading over the summer (summer of it really enjoyable, but that's for another post).

Everyone has now moved out again and back to university . . . which is why tonight everything hurts. Two moves in three days is too much. And - lucky me - now I get to clean up all the mess left behind here at home. I now know I can competently drive a 17 foot moving truck (even through rush hour traffic in downtown Toronto). The only down side to driving was that the brake pedal was too high, so I couldn't rest my heel on the floor while braking - had to basically hold my leg up and push down on the pedal. This might not be a problem for most people, but just try doing that for hours with a knee with shredded cartilage. Ow.

I have a new family doctor (finally). The problem is, they keep phoning and leaving me messages to call and book a follow-up appointment (to discuss test results), but every time I call the number they leave, I get an answering machine. How do you book an appointment through an answering machine?! And, maybe I'm over-reacting, but having a doctor repeatedly call and request that you come in to discuss your test results doesn't seem to bode well for what they found in the tests. I had an MRI on my knee, an ultrasound on my abdomen and a mammogram, so if I'm going to do a "worst case scenario" I'm looking at knee replacement surgery, a hysterectomy, or cancer (or some combination of the three). Not being a hypochondriac, I don't believe I will actually be looking at all three, but, yeah, one could be a possibility. Hopefully not.

Saw HP6 on Friday. Big disappointment. Found my mind wandering to trivialities while I was watching it - like the fact that Michael Gambon (Dumbledore) leads 2 lives, (one with his wife, one with his mistress), or wondering what 16 year old arrives at school in a designer suit and briefcase (as did Draco). Even my daughter, who's a huge fan, gave it a 4/10. Hopefully, movies 7 and 8 will be better.

Also saw the new Star Trek movie a while ago, and LOVED it. Especially because it reminded me of how much I loved the original series. Kirk, Spock, McCoy, . . . sigh.

I'm rewatching Merlin on NBC this summer, and I really liked last night's ep. It was the one about the Druid child. Uther was angry - a lot. Which is almost as good as the Giles glare. I'm strange, I know.

And now, I'm going off to continue reading Jane Austen. The only 2 books of hers I haven't read are Mansfield Park and Northanger Abbey, so these are next up. I like the idea of reading one of her earlier books (N. Abbey) then comparing it to one of her later ones (M. Park). When I'm not packing, that is, 'cause I'm leaving for the Rockies on Friday - hope the summer is better out there than it is here. Is anyone have a good summer? Hope so - here, it's been mostly cool and rainy.

I just saw a promo ad for the Buffy comics that featured Dawn and some god-awful creature in an apparently romantic pose. This just reminded me of why I no longer read them. Dawn was this giant in the opening issues, and I'm thinking her situation hasn't improved much. Maybe I'm just not a comics kind of person, but nothing I'm seeing makes me want to go back to them. Now, if they'd come out with a decent Buffy fiction book, I'd be interested. Comics - nada. Just my opinion.